no shit !

so I've realized that I REALLY hate it when people tell me that I can go back to dancing or that I should ! I had a friend tell me the other day that there's a club that's not too picky that I could go work at ! Like HELLO !!! Don't you think I would if I could ?? No one wants to see this butt naked ! Not anymore anyways .... So now I just had someone else tell me I should go back !

Once you become a dancer for more than a few months it's like everyone expects you to be a dancer for the rest of your life ! They don't remember (or chose not to) how hard it was to get off of the drugs (that I've previously said are pushed on the girls), how hard it was to let go of all the money you make, and lead a normal life. ?

My life at The Spot became a LIFE ! I no longer responded to my given name while I was there. I responded to a "stage name". I even responded to it while doing my groceries as a mother called her young daughter, (turns out her real name was the same as my stage name). I had a different personality there. At home I was shy, conservative, and polite. But at The Spot, that was another story ! I was out there, not shy AT ALL, and sometimes I was one big bitch !

I can't say I haven't kept certain of those traits though but it changed some of my old ones. I am not so shy anymore, but I am FAR more conservative. Apparently now I don't like being touched  (something my darling mother-in-law insists on doing every chance she has) I figured that, for over 6 years I was touched all over (well almost) by total strangers, now.....DON"T TOUCH ME !!!!!!

Well that's all for today I guess.

Chow For Now

Madame X
xoxoxo